kingdom of loathing

No one has ever used the verb "loathe" at me before, and now, with my newly-sullied record held proudly before me, I can take the time to find this extremely intriguing.

What I personally loathe is being placed unwillingly in the situation I find myself immersed in. This unique situation is very rare, only occurring when someone you care about surprises you by treating you in a way that gives you no choice other than to be apathetic, or at least act in a way that can apparently be construed as being apathetic.

Petty, snide, pseudo-philosophic remarks about my "apathy" are not going to spark a great clamoring of regrets and apologies, because there are none owed. These comments actually do nothing except breed true apathy, ironically enough.

Another perplexing paradox that has unfortunately been a part of my life lately is the use of cliches in an attempt to express a grave sentiment. By their very definition, cliches are hugely overrated and melodramatic, hold no true meaning after centuries of being recited and cited, and in fact - here comes the irony - reveal an overwhelmingly large amount of apathy towards the situation they are used to discuss.


In the way of the ever-classic Wayne's World series: loathe on.

Because supposedly, as my apathetic nature dictates, I couldn't care less.


road to joy

"We can't explain this phenomenon, although we have decided that it will mean we will go to college and fall in love with fixers; scrawny and pale, dark-haired boys, prettier than us, their emotional baggage out-weighing themselves. And they will break our hearts, but maybe they'll write songs for us along the way."
-Kaitlin on our joint and spontaneous infatuation with Bright Eyes

What can I say?
Sounds like an accurate prediction to me.


You are little pockets of negentropy in an increasingly entropic universe.

You are surrounded by chaos and are always on the edge of falling apart.

You are a little walking pile of order, but everywhere you go
you leave a trail of chaos behind.



Never, never mistake intensity for depth.
Beware those who claim that they are one and the same,
because although they may intertwine occasionally,
they should most certainly not be melded into one in your mind.
Don't think of them as being synonymous -
it doesn't work out in your favor.

It's made me stronger,
when you take a good look,
the only thing I've truly lost
is a lot of worthless pain,
and my ability to dismiss cynicism.
But nonetheless,
I'd sure like to save you the trouble.


bad blood

up all night, all upset, outside's growing light
no breakfast,
just not much of an appetite
so be cool and believe
in the things you haven't learned
because you lost
and it's gone
but it will return
now it's all laid out in front of you
and that's half murdered the mystery
are you still too shy to describe?
now the whole world is waking up,
a ribbon cut for the opening
yes, finally the day has arrived
so seek and rejoice
fill your hands with something tangible
and fly your love like a flag
and destroy the desire for that which is impossible
and accept what you get with a smile

Bad Blood
Bright Eyes


runner's high

The "pick me up" story on the news is an interesting thing. It's the short and sweet one the poor anchors deliver after blurting out every horrible, inhumane, gloom-and-doom, hellfire-and-brimstone story to their audience. Usually, it's something appropriately heart warming, worth a "Oh, that's neat" and a smile, but not much else.

Tonight, however, the story was super intriguing. A college student (and a runner) used to run by a group of homeless drug addicts every morning, who would habitually wave hello. The idea of using a runner's high as therapy suddenly occurred to her, and, the very next morning, she quit her dream job to organize such a program. Addicts, the impoverished, and homeless people alike all meet with this girl and go on a huge group run, hoping to replace depression and addiction with the original high.

Being a runner and consequently a near-worshiper of the runner's high (which, by the way, is without question the absolute best and most rewarding sensation you could ever hope to experience), I think this is creative, and just plain awesome.

So let this stand as further proof of my best and most certain philosophy: endorphins, my friends, are a wonderful thing.